Walking With Reed

Lou Reed is dead. I loved the guy. Sure he wrote of unusual characters and desperate situations, but his music and poetry expressed the passions of lonely hearts and perceived misfits. Reed had only one mainstream hit, yet influenced generations of musicians. He also was not someone who would receive scores of popular music awards – but his work would influence Vaclav Havel and his efforts to bring about a new state of Czechoslovakia. I love Lou Reed because to some extent he connects with my "misfit" side. Here’s to the misfits. Here’s to us all.

I recently had an encounter with a young high school student who exclaimed that she was having an existential crisis. While most freshmen do not describe feelings and emotions in terms of existential angst this young lady did. Not only that, she spoke of alienation, meaning and most of all why on earth are we being taught much of the stuff schools throw our (the kids) way? Interesting questions. I had a whole 10 minutes to try and answer. Obviously this needed to be an ongoing conversation. In reality, it is probably an ongoing conversation we all should be having with someone willing to listen.

An existential crisis can be a good thing from time to time. This young student was feeling out of time and place. She was also questioning whether or not she belonged to the meaningless charade of preparing for tomorrows. Railing against the perfunctory, my young friend attracted a crowd. In fact, her diatribe against mindless conformity was heard by many friends and bystanders. A number agreed with what they had heard.

A few years back I worked with another young student who was bright, thoughtful and deeply involved with societal issues like war, the environment and poverty. She was forced to quit a number of activities because her mom felt that the young lady was not doing what normal kids were supposed to do. In fact, Mom actually asserted that her daughter occasionally drink (have a beer or two) to see what it was like. This mother wanted her kid to be "normal" at all costs. What she did not see was that her child was amazing as is. No "acting" normal was necessary.

 Advocating that we travel the path of Lou Reed might not be sound advice for the general populace. However, recognizing different paths, along with seeking to understand those who choose alternate ways might broaden one's life experience. In addition, reducing others to misfits denies an opportunity to learn from and connect with all kinds of people. The student at the high school having a crisis might have been all over the place, but, in many ways was posing an extremely important question – Why?. This is something those inside and out struggle with. It is a pretty good question.

I do not think we recognize the efforts of enough people. We choose valedictorians, all stars, hall of famers and students on the honor roll to highlight – but fail to recognize the talent(s) and struggles of the crowd. Each of us has a story to tell. Nothing against those who achieve public recognition but deeper reflection indicates that many success stories are left untold.

Our nation’s education system often promotes compliance over competence. In an effort to measure success we now have systems with a limited purview of what constitutes learning. Kids with vocational skills are marginalized. Heck, kids who are great in history are to some extent as well. These disciplines are not even seen as worthy of being tested for. Every day I encounter young people who have all kinds of talents. While teaching the basics is essential, encouraging creativity adds a little panache to the educational journey. Without getting them into trouble, I know that many teachers and administrators wish they had additional opportunity to do more creative stuff.

If we open our eyes there are no limits to exceptionalism. It can be found in everyone. When cultivated it will flourish. When stifled we all lose. In many ways living is an art form. Society places some limits on the size of the canvas–but to a large extent we get to choose and use the colors available on our palette. Few of us would want to face the struggles of Lou Reed. Question all you want his responses to those struggles, but also seek to admire the vigilance in his finding meaning and expressing it to others.

I often think of kids from disadvantaged situations who make it to school each day. I also think of single parents or those working hard hours to keep a family going. And let’s not forget those who defend us – police, fire, military. They receive little fanfare, but are so important. Hard work, caring, resourcefulness, courage, these are talents too. They are expressed by love. They are expressed by honor and commitment. Often done quietly or alone these keep the heart of society beating. They are expressed as clearly as a Lou Reed song (waiting to be listened to). Does this not speak to excellence? Is there not a form of poetry in such deeds?

Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Bob Dylan, and Lou Reed all spent time on the misfit list. There are countless others. In fact, they are in our families. In fact, some of them are friends. In fact, many of them are us. For these folk sometimes school was too restrictive. For them seeking their own way was necessary. It was not always easy, but eventually following one’s dreams will produce rewards (not just financial).

At the local level, East Greenwich High School has taken the initiative to implement some unique programs that address much of what I have written. The districts Unified Sports Program is exemplary. So are things like "Genius Hour" and #EGHSMatters These are but a few examples of initiatives established by our schools. Hopefully the folks at the Department of Education will loosen up and allow for more of this.

Thinking "out of the box" is not always easy under the present climate and schools who continue to seek innovative ways of reaching a broader spectrum of kids should be recognized. This needs to be continued, expanded and rewarded. There is so much untapped talent out there.

The holiday season will soon be upon us. Lou Reed might not usually be associated with this time of year, but making a leap of faith should not be too difficult here. Perhaps this is a good time to recognize the uniqueness of us all. Maybe it is a good time to cherish our differences as well as our commonality. Who amongst us does not want to be loved and validated? Who amongst us does not want to live a life that has meaning and purpose? You might not want to take Lou Reed’s "Walk on the Wild Side," but, Robert Frost’s "road less traveled" might provide infinite rewards. Enjoy the season. Enjoy each other. Here’s to the misfits. Here’s to us all.