The Incredible Shrinking Bikini

There's something amiss with this summer's outfits. Is my bikini missing fabric or am I going crazy?

My favorite part of the warmer weather is bikini shopping. I love spending time poring over my favorite catalog, comparing cuts, colors, and patterns. I’ve been ordering from a certain company long enough to know which of these items will “build” a bikini that will flatter my frame and not embarrass me at family functions. The latter being a crucial element to all of my shopping endeavors. Needless to say, I’ve vested enough hours in the past to have this entire experience down to a science.

Until this year.

This year I experienced the Incredible Shrinking Bikini. Every item I had ordered seemed to be missing fabric. A lot of fabric. In the crucial let’s-not-embarrass-the- family places. Every time I ordered a replacement piece, even when from a different line,  it had ended with the same result. Very tiny pieces of fabric where my bikini used to be. Naturally, my common sense kicked with a mental tally of everything I had eaten and how many times I had skipped the gym. No sane person would blame the bikini for shrinking itself on its way from the warehouse to my mailbox. I shared my plight with my sister, hoping for some sisterly love.

Alas! She had also heard amongst our friends that their bikinis were made with far less fabric than normal. To my surprise (and relief), the Incredible Shrinking Bikini was not a thing of my imagination (or inconsistent dedication to the gym). The company had re-cut their bikini pieces this swim season  in a more “sexy” style. A style that unfortunately requires quite a bit of adjusting for this naturally curvy girl. My bikini and I have reached a compromise and made a few successful public appearances. Phew! Tell me has anyone else found that their “go-to” company has resized/re-cut/redesigned their staple pieces?  Do you have an Incredible Shrinking Bikini story of your own?

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Kevin Oliver July 19, 2012 at 01:16 PM
As the father of 2 girls I have to say WTF? Less is not more. Less is no where near enough. If you look at the girls/womens clothing it is all getting tighter and smaller. It seems that they want our pre-teens and younger children to dress as hookers in training.You almost have to buy clothes a size bigger than your child is just so they aren't to tight. Shame on the clothing industry for not diferentating between an adult and a child when it comes to what the clothes should fit like.
joyce July 21, 2012 at 11:44 AM
You said it Kevin. I remember when one pieces could be bought that covered the butt, what a concept. Not all adults want to look like hookers either.
Suzanne Arena July 22, 2012 at 01:42 AM
I agree Kevin. I don't take my kids to Ska-ba-row Beach because of the trash mouths and the way the kids dress. It's pretty disgusting and yes, I guess I'm old fashioned. Less is NOT better and it's unfortunately we pay $$$$ for less and less in a society that breeds obseity is not pretty. It's great to have self-esteem, but the old saying "have some common sense" doesn't hold true for people anymore because that applies to many old customs. Going to other places like Aruba though....does somehow give me the confidence and I don't care attitude (within reason) to squeeze into my brazilian cut bikini's from VENUS bathing suits of 12 years ago ...lol, they still have more material than those of today AND I really didn't get to wear them much when I was married because I blew up like a tic. Nice to have the best of bikini's in my drawer...and yes, have a large selection is a must.
Russell Archambault July 22, 2012 at 02:05 AM
the reason people have difficulty in less is bad or any kind of outfit that is relieving is because americans have turned sex or sexual behavior, DIRTY. Going to other countries people accept many ways of dress or less. people who hold themselves like prissy little angels try to be provocative when somewhere not being recognized. Double standard or hypocritical? I myself try to dress like a slob no matter where i go> I say let loose, be yourself, dress in less, even though your neighbor might think your a.............
DD July 22, 2012 at 04:07 AM
@Kevin Oliver -- Agree totally with ya.


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